Choosing the person to share responsibility for your children’s safety, welfare and happiness is an important decision. If you have any questions or problems, our PAUA Poppetts staff are here to provide insightful and practical advice.

Parent Questions:

  Will my daughter get attached to her nanny and prefer her to me? Will there be any long term effects on my daughter being looked after by someone other than a family member?

Dear PAUA Poppetts,

I gave birth to my beautiful daughter nine months ago and have recently been looking at returning to work. I have looked at daycare centres and also getting a Nanny and have decided that it might be better for my daughter to be looked after in her own home. While I am sure we can find a great Nanny, I have started to feel guilty about leaving my daughter and going back to work.

Am I being selfish? Will my daughter get attached to her Nanny and prefer her to me? Will there be any long term effects on my daughter being looked after by someone other than a family member? I would love to be a stay-at-home mum, but we really need my income to make ends meet.

RJ, Kingsland

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Hi RJ,

Returning to work after the birth of your child is a big step on many levels and there are many conflicting issues to deal with: you want to be with your child but you also have manage your career and consider family finances.

Firstly though, you are not being selfish. Being a parent is a challenging role and you need to look after your own needs so you can be the best parent for your child. Remember the oxygen mask rule – put it on yourself so you can then help your child!

Having your daughter cared for at home has many advantages for the whole family and is the option most similar to you being at home. For a start, the low ratio of caregiver to child (one on one) is best and your child develops a relationship with a consistent caring person in their life. Your daughter will become attached to your Nanny but will always know who is Mum. That is a special relationship no other person can have with your child.

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